Steven Spielberg’s E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial is one of the most beloved films of all time. From its beautiful score to its heartfelt story of friendship, there is something for fans of all ages. But according to Rob Bricken from OneZero, everyone has it wrong. In a hilarious fan theory, Bricken lays out why he, and everyone else, should be afraid of the film’s title character.
E.T. follows the story of a Californian child named Elliott who takes in a space-faring botanist alien that was separated from his people. On paper, this sounds like a lovely story that many people across generations have cherished. But Bricken’s searing indictment lays out pretty clearly why E.T. is actually the film’s villain, much like the theories about Groundhog Day’s Ned Ryerson. Let’s break down Bricken’s theory and simultaneously ruin a couple of childhoods.
After the initial shock of discovering an alien in his backyard, the curious young Elliott decides to befriend E.T. Little does he know this decision could have been the beginning of the end for him. E.T. creates a psychic link between himself and the young boy, who, in turn, can feel everything E.T. is feeling. As Bricken points out, this is best displayed when E.T. shotguns a six-pack for breakfast moments after Elliott leaves for school. Elliott, who is still many years away from the legal drinking age, goes about his school day inebriated until E.T. sends him a mental order to forcibly kiss a classmate.
At this point in his E.T. theory, Bricken pivots to discussing the part of the film where a sick E.T. and Elliott are taken by government forces. He notes that E.T. ultimately releases Elliott from their mental link just before they both die and establishes that E.T.’s life force correlates with his proximity to his people. When trying to establish E.T.’s motive, Bricken lands on the idea that the alien wanted to harm Elliott for his own enjoyment. Yet there is another answer that takes things a step further. Perhaps E.T. was using Elliott to buy himself time.
E.T. is at first terrified after being left behind, seemingly knowing that his death is imminent. But when an innocent and naive boy tries to lure him out of hiding, E.T. spots an opportunity. No rational adult would be courageously stupid enough to take in a potentially dangerous alien, but a curious child might. E.T. uses this to his advantage by connecting with Elliott and emotionally manipulating him, kidnaping him and potentially stealing his lifeforce to buy time until his ship returns.
As far as theories go, Bricken’s might be one of the funniest and most plausible in recent memory. Most try to fill plot holes, like why Obi-Wan didn’t recognize R2-D2 in Star Wars, but this one reframes what everyone knew deep down. The titular alien doesn’t have many lines in E.T., so much of his characterization comes from the children hiding him. Of course, the stranger-trusting kids in Spielberg’s crime-ridden films would give a small alien the benefit of the doubt and treat him like a loveable pet. Little did they know, they were harboring a murderous and selfish killer whose only goal was to survive.
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