When it comes to comics, bombastic and over-the-top supervillains usually get a fittingly epic or tragic defeat. However, this isn’t the case for most of Marvel Comics’ most iconic bad guys, whether they’re joke characters or legitimate threats.
Regardless of how intimidating they can be or how grand their masterplans are, these Marvel villains were defeated by the heroes in the most humiliating ways. Luckily for readers, these are some of Marvel’s most hilarious moments ever put on paper.
10 Molecule Man Betrayed God Emperor Doom For A Burger
For anyone wondering how Marvel’s realities would look like if Doctor Doom won, look no further than Secret Wars (2015). When Earth-616 and Earth-1610 (aka Ultimate Marvel) collide, Doctor Doom comes out as the realms’ god-emperor, thanks in part to a captured Molecule Man. Doom sees no need to feed or sustain his reality-warping prisoner, which leads to his downfall.
When Peter Parker and Miles Morales bump into Molecule Man, Miles gives him a burger that he forgot was in his pocket. In gratitude, Molecule Man resurrects Miles in Earth-616 and denies Doom of his godlike abilities in the final fight, sealing his defeat to Reed Richards. A burger for Doom’s empire is a hilariously fitting way to end his multiverse reign.
9 Spider-Man Pantsed Doc Ock On Live TV
Furious at how Justin Hammer’s unethical business practices led to his lab accident and disfigurement, Doc Ock challenges him to a tell-all press conference. The Hammer Industries CEO backs out at the last second, incurring Doc Ock’s wrath in Ultimate Spider-Man #20. Luckily, Spider-Man swings in to save the day.
The two are an equal match, and Doc Ock even throws Spidey aside. However, Spider-Man has one trick up his sleeves: childish pranks. When Doc Ock is about to kill Hammer, Spidey pulls his pants down using his webs. This distracts Doc Ock, and Spider-Man knocks him out while mocking the villain’s underwear of choice. The press, meanwhile, got everything on tape.
8 Spider-Man Humiliated Kraven The Hunter In A Pay-Per-View
Not even three pages after humiliating Doc Ock, Spider-Man is challenged to a fight by Kraven the Hunter. In the Ultimate universe, Kraven is a reality TV star best known for hunting big game animals on camera. After seeing Spider-Man save the day on the local news, Kraven makes the web-slinger his next prey to boost his ratings.
Against all better judgment, Kraven charges at the web-slinger and is immediately defeated. Making things more embarrassing, Kraven was hyped up over many issues and was even Ultimate Spider-Man #21’s cover character. Kraven reemerges in Ultimate Six, only to be publicly arrested and humiliated by the Ultimates for genetic tampering (aka superpower doping).
7 Gwenpool Flung M.O.D.O.K. Into Space By Throwing A Skull At Him
Upon arriving in Earth-616, Gwendolyn Poole (aka Gwenpool) is forced into M.O.D.O.K’s employment under the pain of death. When M.O.D.O.K. realizes that Gwenpool is not of the Marvel universe and was lying about her identity, he tries to kill her. She survives and a fight ensues in The Unbelievable Gwenpool #4, but it quickly falls into M.O.D.O.K’s favor.
Out of options, Gwenpool throws her friend Cecil’s skull at M.O.D.O.K. to summon him like a Pokémon. Surprisingly, this works and Cecil’s ghost attacks the circuits of the supervillain who killed him in Issue #1. Since he didn’t have any anti-ghost systems or programs in place, M.O.D.O.K. gets launched into space when Cecil compromises his butt-mounted rockets.
6 She-Hulk & Friends Gave Xemnu To Big Enilwen
Today, Xemnu is probably best known for being that creepy memory-altering monster from The Immortal Hulk. But before his terrifying return, though, he was a big hairy who specifically targeted children’s thoughts, as seen in The Sensational She-Hulk #7. Here, he tries to turn She-Hulk into his bride by transforming her genetic code into that of his race’s.
He’s only stopped when US Archer and his fellow space truckers interrupt the process in the nick of time. With She-Hulk safe, the question about what to do with Xemnu remains. The group then remembers that the childlike giant Big Enilwen loves collecting stuffed bears, so they hand over the dream-warping terror to him as a fluffy “great white bear.”
5 She-Hulk Accidentally Stranded Doctor Bong In TV Land
Much to her annoyance, She-Hulk has to deal with Doctor Bong in The Sensational She-Hulk #5. Terrified at how superficial Saturday morning cartoons are, Doctor Bong creates the Educational Recalibration Field to save his children’s minds. The field allows him to alter TV shows to his liking, while also turning programs into their own parallel reality.
She-Hulk only discovers this when Doctor Bong’s machine accidentally drags her into a dinosaur show, The O’Rockets, and Robot-Cop. Sick of Doctor Bong’s shenanigans, She-Hulk angrily rips through the comic to get to his base. However, she accidentally kicks the doctor’s assistant Fifi into the Plot Device switch, which strands him in TV land with no way out.
4 The White Man’s Powers Backfire Twice
A hilariously if terribly named ‘70s-era mob boss and Deadpool (2013), the White Man can turn people into stone with his magic staff. While useful against other criminals and defenseless citizens, it’s an annoyance for Deadpool and the Heroes for Hire. In their first fight, Deadpool pokes White Man’s staff into his face, turning him into a tacky statue of a pimp.
Decades later, some movers accidentally break a certain novelty statue and set White Man loose. White Man tries to get his vengeance, but the heroes forgot who he was. He’s defeated by Iron Fist’s martial arts students when they use his staff against him and punch him in the groin. He’s freed by aliens some centuries later, only to be abducted for their zoo.
3 Thanos Lost The Cosmic Cube To A Child & Got Arrested
The hilarious panel of Thanos being impotently escorted away by the NYPD hails from Spidey Super Stories #39, and it’s even crazier in context. After his scientists successfully create the Cosmic Cube, the Mad Titan immediately takes it and flies to Earth on his Thanoscopter to mess with The Cat, bully children, and make bad cat jokes.
In the scuffle, Thanos drops the Cube and it ends up in the hands of a kid. Thanos then bullies said kid for the Cube, but is interrupted by Spider-Man and The Cat. Thanos is finally defeated when he slips and drops the Cube back in the kid’s hands, who then uses it to tie up the Titan for the authorities before handing the Cube to the superheroes.
2 Squirrel Girl Beat Up Thanos Off-Panel
Canonically, Squirrel Girl is the most powerful hero of the Marvel universe. She’s either beaten countless villains before or talked them out of fighting. Unfortunately for Thanos, he had to learn the hard way in the Great Lakes Avengers’ holiday issue, GLX-Mas Special. Here, Thanos declares that he’ll use humanity to charge his Pyramatrix superweapon.
Squirrel Girl and her trusty squirrel sidekick Tippy-Toe defy him… right before the comic cuts to a Christmas party. The aftermath is then off-handedly shown around 10 pages later, where an unharmed Squirrel Girl stands over a downed Titan. Uatu the Watcher even commends her for defeating the real Thanos, not a clone or parallel version of his.
1 Squirrel Girl Terrified Doctor Doom Into Submission
No Marvel hero made a debut as legendary as Squirrel Girl did. In her first adventure in Marvel Super-Heroes #8, Squirrel Girl teams up with Iron Man to defeat Doctor Doom. That said, Iron Man is really more of a guest star in Squirrel Girl’s introduction since it’s her ability to communicate with squirrels that defeats one of Marvel’s greatest villains.
When Doom imprisons the heroes on his Doomship, Squirrel Girl summons her squirrel army to overwhelm Doom and the aircraft’s controls. The plan works, and Doom jumps overboard to escape being buried by squirrels. Though originally a non-canon jokey one-shot, the story has since been canonized and Doom now lives in eternal fear of Squirrel Girl’s return.
About The Author